When sex doesn't sell. Why asexual inclusion matters

In a world that is predominately controlled by sex and social pressure to find your significant other, individuals that do not crave either can feel left out.  Everywhere you look, we are getting bombarded with sex in every form imaginable. After all, sex sells. It is supposed to capture our attention and empty our wallets on things we don’t even know we need or want yet. And if it’s not the entertainment or advertising industry selling us sex, it is society telling us we’re only “whole” if we’re in a relationship.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that is often misunderstood or treated as a condition or regarded as a lifestyle choice. Simply put, an asexual person is an individual that does not experience any sexual experience towards other people. But as with any sexual orientation, it is not that easy. While it’s true that there are some Ace's – a short term for a person that identifies as asexual - never encounters any sexual desires, there is some that rarely experience it or experience it only under certain circumstances. No matter the extent of their sexual orientation, many Ace's have to live with assumptions and misconceptions.

Asexuality is often mistaken with celibacy. But unlike celibacy, which actually is a lifestyle choice, asexuality is a sexual orientation – just like homosexuality, bisexuality, and heterosexuality. Celibacy is a conscious decision not to have sex, regardless of sexual desire. Many asexuals do not consider themselves celibate, as they are giving up no more in abstaining from sex than a gay person is by abstaining from sex with someone of a different gender or a straight person is by abstaining from sex with the same gender.

Some Ace's may be put off by sex, meaning they personally “repulse” the idea of having sex. Others don’t mind having sex and some are quite happy to have sex. The same variation exists in the non-asexual population: some sexual people are quite happy to have sex with someone they are not sexually attracted to, but for others this idea is unthinkable.

Just like anybody else, some asexual people desire relationships and some do not. An asexual person can find someone visually attractive (aesthetic attraction), be interested in someone romantically (romantic attraction) and fall in love, but these feelings do not have to have a sexual dimension.

Our sex dominated world can be a lonely one for those who don’t desire it. Many Ace's feel left out, are ashamed and/or face harassment and as a consequence are forcing themselves to fit it. In future, if you have ever experience times where you don’t want to have sex and feel pressured, take a minute to put yourself in the shoes of Ace's. Constantly feeling pressured by the world to be something they’re not.

October 22 – 28 marks Asexual Awareness Week, a week that not only raises awareness of an underrated and often times misunderstood community but gives Ace's a week to celebrate themselves. It is a time to show our asexual peers that they are not alone and that it is ok to be different and nothing to be ashamed of. The more people know about it, the easier it gets for individuals to build communities from which they can draw comfort and support. After all, we are all different and are trying to find ourselves in this world, and nobody deserves to be mistreated because of who they are.