From Dhaka to London
Tarek Chowdhury shares his story of how he fled Bangladesh to seek safety in the UK.
My name is Tarek Chowdhury. I was born in Sylhet, which is a city of about half a million people located on the right bank of the Surma River in northeastern Bengal. When I was 1 year old, we moved to the capital Dhaka, because my parents were looking for a better life.
I then lost both of my parents at a young age. When I was only 11 my dad died and right before I turned 18, I lost my mother. My childhood was hell for so many reasons.
I was born with clubfoot. Clubfoot (also called talipes) is a birth defect, it’s not supposed to be painful for babies, but if it isn't treated, it can become painful and make it difficult to walk as they get older. In Bangladesh, the health system is not like here in the UK. It’s very difficult to get treatment. I was not treated as a child, so walking for me is difficult and painful. I have a few physical health issues as a result of the lack of care in my country.
I have already had 3 major operations on my left ankle and am waiting for another operation on my tonsils, after a doctor found 2 big stones inside them.
On top of my physical ill-health, at the age of 9, I was abused by my teacher. I was also bullied throughout my childhood. I was bullied because of the way I walked, for being gay and had many bad words thrown at me. This made my childhood hell.
Talking about my experience is hard, every time I do, I relive the trauma. Homosexuality is illegal under Bangladeshi law, plus recently two of our main activists were brutally killed by an Islamic extremist. Xulhaz Mannan was an employee of the United States embassy in Dhaka and the founder of Bangladesh's first and only LGBT-themed magazine Roopbaan. He was killed in his apartment along with another LGBT+ activist Mahbub Rabbi Tonoy on the 25th April 2016. We are still left waiting for justice for their murders.
LGBT+ rights are heavily suppressed in Bangladesh. Due to the traditional mentality of the predominantly conservative Bangladeshi society, negative attitudes towards those in the LGBT+ community are high. The punishment for homosexuality is up to life imprisonment, therefore it is dangerous for LGBT+ people to openly come out and if they do, they face social rejection, hate, assault, and even murder. We have no protection, no rights and cannot tell anyone about our true selves.
It’s a big mental pain always that you can’t express yourself and tell anyone about your sexuality.
Having to hide your sexuality and not being able to express yourself takes a massive toll on your mental wellbeing. If anyone finds out about your sexuality, they will kill you. You always have to be careful; careful who you talk to and careful what you say, because you never know if they will kill you or report you. It’s a horrible life if you are gay or lesbian or trans or different from the norm in any way. I had to leave, because I didn’t have anyone and my life was too painful.
I was alone without anyone to look after me, so I turned to my LGBTQ+ community for help. I was being persecuted and needed to leave Bangladesh, so one of the third gender leaders offered me help by introducing me to a broker who would get me out of the country.
I was trafficked into the UK. However, as soon as I entered, my broker took my passport and money and left me alone at the airport. I survived with the help of some Bangladeshi people. I have done all sorts of things to survive. I used to work in an Indian restaurant as a helper.
Now, I offer my help to others by writing for the Bangladeshi LGBTQ+ community in the UK. I have covered pride news, protest news for my community.
In 2012, we started Let Voice be Heard. We are a very small group of 5 friends and are currently supporting over 40 asylum seekers, these are people who have direct life threat from their own family, government and many Islamic extremist groups. We have organised many protests and important events for our Bangladeshi LGBTQ+ community. Let Voice be Heard is an informal group, enabling us to do just that, be heard. We go outside embassies together to protest, it may be risky, but we know better than anyone how difficult it is for our overseas community and want to stand by them.
We are the first Bangladeshi LGBTQ+ group and are proud of the many events we have organised, with the support of the Metropolitan Police, the charity Positive East and many other LGBTQ + organisations.
As a Bangladeshi Muslim gay man, your life is always at risk, you are always in danger, especially if you live near a closed homophobic community. One year after proudly marching at London Pride together under our organization banner, a picture of us went viral and we soon received a tirade of life-threatening messages.
Positive East has been extremely helpful to us, offering a room for us to meet, talk and support one another. We have our monthly meetings there but as our group is informal, we have no charity status or funding. What we do have is each other; a group of people who can listen to one another and understand how difficult it can be. We help our group with food, clothes and support, offering someone to talk to. We offer the group help in any way we can.
Three years ago, I met Abdur Rahaman, my boyfriend, but we have received death threats from his family which is very painful. We even had a call from his own family saying that if he doesn’t change, he will be killed. Despite this, we are still together, and we give each other unconditional love and comfort.
Life is too dangerous for us in Bangladesh. It is dangerous in London too, but so much less. I am happy to have moved to the UK where I am lucky enough to have found so many guardian angels.
Thank you for reading my story, if you want to know more about Let Voice be Heard you can find us on Facebook.
