Parenting: What it's like being an LGBTQ+ Parent

Love and marriage

I’ve worked at the bank for 13 years and currently work in the Asset Management Services business, within Equities, based in Dublin.

My wife Marion also worked for the bank, which is how we met. When Ireland became the first country to approve same-sex marriage by popular vote in May 2015, we were delighted to get married in 2017. After our wedding we jointly changed our surname to Gilmoran (a combination of our former surnames, Gill and Moran) by deed poll.

The bank has given me the framework to bring my whole self to work; my whole self being that I’m part of the LGBT+ community and a parent. This culture shouldn’t be underestimated, as it impacts not only me, but also my colleagues and the wider company.

Growing our family

We now have a three-year-old son called James and a newly born daughter called Robin. We had both of them via IVF and a donor process.

James and Robin are at home being looked after by Marion at the moment, James started at Montessori nursery last August for the mornings and is loving it. It is important to us that one parent stayed at home to look after our children and I feel that Marion has taken the more difficult decision to be the person at home looking after both James and Robin.

I took a month’s leave when James and Robin were born – two weeks’ annual leave and two week’s via shared parental leave.

Being an ‘out at work’ mum feels completely normal. I come to work each day and I’m happy to chat about how James and Robin are progressing, or what they did to make Marion and I laugh. I also feel supported in the same way as any parent when it comes to my work/life balance.

Looking to the future

Once the children are a bit older, it’s possible that Marion may want to return to banking. That’s why the bank’s Returning Talent programme is so useful, as it provides opportunities for people who have taken time out to be a carer to continue their careers.

I’m currently LGBT+ Regional Leader for EMEA and a member of the Parents & Carers networks and I’m currently working to build a connection between both networks in London. They’ve both been great to be part of and I’ve had some really helpful conversations with other LGBT+ parents and the parents of LGBT+ children.