Respecting all families
Culture
For Louise Allan, IPT
Bulk Coach Support at the Cramlington, UK, manufacturing site, becoming mothers
with her wife wasn’t the issue – it was the discrimination the couple faced
afterward that remains a painful reminder society must still work to respect
all types of families.
Her partner, Gemma, is the biological mother of
their daughter, 5-year-old Sophia. They used a private sperm donor, and once
Gemma was pregnant by early spring 2015, the couple married in July 2015.
Louise and her wife live
in a small town named Alnwick, made famous as the site of Hogwarts in the Harry
Potter films. The registrar who helped with their marriage license was also on
hand for Sophia’s birth certificate six months later – which meant she knew the
couple had not yet married when Sophia was conceived.
It came as a shock when
antiquated laws meant Louise could not be added to Sophia’s birth certificate
along with Gemma. They had to have been married at the time of conception or
have certification from a fertility clinic. Without either, they had no way to
remedy the situation unless through a formal adoption process.
“They make it as awkward
as possible,” reflects Louise. “I know families who have multiple children, and
the parents aren’t even married, yet both are on the birth certificate.”
Discrimination against
Louise’s family continued when the healthcare worker visiting baby Sophia wrote
a report indicating the child “would suffer later in life from same-sex
parents.”
Notes Louise, “Sophia is a happy little soul in
a loving home. It was heart-wrenching to see that written down.”
Finding acceptance
A few years ago, Sophia
was diagnosed with autism, but Louise notes they’ve found a loving, accepting
school community for the three of them. “Sophia is thriving,” she reports.
Thankfully, those early prejudices have not followed their family. But with the
pandemic, and busy lives, they haven’t had a chance to make Louise a legal
parent just yet. “We just want to concentrate on Sophia,” she adds.
Louise notes most forms and processes she
encounters assume a father and a mother. “We are getting much better in
society, but in a perfect world, we wouldn’t be a gay couple – just a couple,”
she says.
Luckily, Organon has been an inclusive, happy place for Louise. After 23 years of
service, and times as the only woman on the floor of the manufacturing
facility, she has always felt welcomed.
“I’ve never been treated differently,” she explains.
“I’m just like one of the lads.” And someday, she’ll make sure she is added to
Sophia’s birth certificate, too.