Black History Month: How To Be A Respectful Ally

In the spirit of Black History Month (US), lululemon's Product Manager Maesha Guyton shares some tips on how to be a respectful ally. 

As a BIPOC, who is female and happen to love women, I often joke about having “three strikes”: I’m a female (which in itself can be problematic in this society), I’m “gay” (definitely can be a conversation starter – ha) and I’m BLACK (which can sometimes be dangerous but as the kids say, can be "LIT”).

Sometimes making that “three strikes” statement is a way to interrupt the awkward silence I’m experiencing when discussing societal issues with people who don’t look like me. Other times it’s simply expressing how I feel. At any rate, in many cases, based on my life experiences it’s true. That comment is usually followed by varying statements and/or questions from my counterparts – some of which can demonstrate/validate the very statement in which I’ve made. But oddly enough, the one question or comment I rarely (if ever) hear is “how can I be a better ally” or “how can I as an ally show up for you, especially in spaces where I understand and/or acknowledge my privilege exists and discomfort lives for you? I’ve waited for that inquiry to arise. I’ve played in my head a time or two what I’d say should it ever be posed. Here are a few things that come to mind:

• Please be mindful of the language that is used and when in doubt, don’t be afraid to ask.
• Show love for your LGBTQ+ friends and family. You can love and have compassion for those you don’t necessarily agree completely with. 
• Support those close to you and show them that they are ENOUGH (as they are).
• Please don’t share your religious opinions or other rhetoric unless it is asked for.
• Sincerity goes a long way.
• Try to put yourself in their situation, would your response still be the same?
• Be open to learning about others – your experience isn’t theirs.
•      Seek understanding – be a good listener, we don’t necessarily want you to solve the issues.
•      And most importantly, (in my eyes), come from a lens of everyone is going through, overcoming, or recovering from something. Lead with love and grace. And the rest should fall in place.