Celebrating Pride at Charles River: LGBTQ+ Employees Share Their Stories

Shay Urban, Digital Education Manager, Wilmington

Pronouns: they/he

When Shay first came out as trans several years ago, pronouns felt like a bit of armor against mis-gendering. But as time passed, he became less concerned with the slips of tongue and more interested in people feeling comfortable enough to offer their pronouns. “Coming out is never ending when you live in a world that assumes everyone is cis-hetero,” says Shay. “I take pride in the fact that I’m able to openly live my life outside the binary without fear.

This is not the case for everyone, though. Shay will be celebrating Pride by buying ‘Protect Trans Kids’ T-shirts to wear this summer.

Shay grew up in the New York metropolitan area, attended Endicott College and then embarked on a career as an Event Coordinator planning global pharma conferences around the world. After a stint at a Boston financial company planning webinars, he found his way to Charles River where he has done both event planning for its annual World Congress and digital education.

In his first few professional jobs Shay kept his identity hidden, and when he finally did come out he didn’t feel accepted. "I was told to not get a radical haircut and felt as if I was an outsider for just existing,” says Shay. “It was safer to not discuss my personal life at all.”

“When I first came out, I was disclosing my sexual orientation and the second time I came out I was talking about my gender identity,” says Shay. “The first coming out felt freeing and the second time felt complicated and more personal. My advice to others is there is no right or wrong way to be yourself. Friends and families can alleviate the burden of having to come out by doing their own research and being open and supportive to their loved ones that are sharing, inevitably, one of the biggest pieces of their true selves with you."

Shay finds Charles River does an amazing job of trying to support the community and is growing and learning how to do this better every year. “Last year we had some challenges with the new health insurance, and it was addressed,” Shay says. “I think it’s important to consider what could be done to make LGBTQ+ lives easier. For example, is there something that can be done to help with the costs of name change documentation, providing trans colleagues with TSA Pre-Check to avoid discrimination at the airport, offering fertility services, support systems, etc. The best thing others and allies can do is educate themselves and advocate for others.”