Navigating gender identity and celebrating visibility in the workplace

"Transness is not new or abstract - it is important to recognize that we too have helped turn the wheels of history. So, take the time to listen to our stories." Lex Valentine, Administrative Assistant at Charles River Laboratories, spoke to myGwork about what authentic celebration of Trans Day of Visibility means. From sharing his identity journey to giving his view on what true allyship looks like, they talk about the impact of being out and comfortable in the workplace.

Hi Lex, thanks for chatting with us. Could you tell us a bit about yourself?

Hello! My name is Lex Valentine, and I work as an Administrative Assistant at the Horsham, Pennsylvania site of Charles River Laboratories. It’s hard to define exactly what I do at my job – it’s more like what don’t I do. To put it simply: I do a little bit of everything for a lot of different people. And I love it! Having my grubby little fingers in so many pies has given me a rare perspective on the business itself as well as a unique ability to speak to a wide group of people and have them truly listen to what I have to say. The flexibility of my role has given me the chance to successfully start and lead the local chapter of the company’s LGBTQ+ Employee Resource Group, which makes me immensely proud.

What does Trans Day of Visibility mean to you?

Trans Day of Visibility, to me, is not about being seen, despite the name; rather, it is about giving transgender individuals a voice, about giving us a chance to speak up, to be loud, and be heard. Transness is not new or abstract – it is important to recognize that we too have helped turn the wheels of history. So, take the time to listen to our stories.

Can you share a bit about your journey with your identity?

It’s been a very long, complex, and tumultuous journey for me to learn, understand, and ultimately cultivate my identity in a way that feels right. I use both he/him and they/them pronouns, but often present myself in a very flamboyantly femme manner. My new way to describe myself (that I’ve been told by friends/family/coworkers is quite helpful for them to better understand my identity) is that I’m simply moving through life as but a humble drag queen. Honestly, I discover more about myself each day, and feel that I am not yet at the end of my journey to self-discovery – merely at the crux. I first played with gender expression in my teens, and toyed with the idea of using different pronouns when I was fifteen. Thank god for the Internet – I say that both facetiously and seriously, because it allowed me to discover pockets of people like me out in the world, and to unearth bits and pieces of my identity; but, it also opened my eyes to the swaths of hate and vitriol against the people of my community. Regardless though, every day is a new step forward – a step toward knowledge, toward realization, toward euphoria.

What does true allyship to the trans community look like for you?

Acknowledge, Absorb, Apply. Acknowledge what actions or language that you as an ally are doing/using that may not be inclusive or helpful to trans people and take accountability. Absorb information about the trans community by seeking out LGBTQ+ resources and taking the time to better educate yourself. Finally, apply the knowledge you’ve sought out to help be a better ally and amplify the voices of trans people!

Did you have any visible trans role models growing up? How did this impact you?

I did not. To be frank, I didn’t have any sort of LGBTQ+ role models at all growing up. I was lucky in that my immediate family was a very welcoming, safe space, but I still felt that crippling loneliness of being the only queer kid. I was the stereotypical “gay cousin” and “gay friend.” I remember a running joke (one could hardly consider this a truly comedic “joke” though) amongst friends when I was a teenager that I had AIDS – it was never revealed why I was the only target for this “joke,” but I could read through the lines, nonetheless. It wasn’t until late in my college years and afterward that I started to foster queer friendships and feel more integrated in the LGBTQ+ community.

Have you always been out in the workplace? Can you share your journey with this?

I took my time to be fully out in the workplace. I am proud that I am both mentally in a space where I am comfortable being fully out but also physically in a space that I know fully supports me. But truly, it took a while to reach this point in the road. At previous jobs, some people knew of my sexuality, but that was it – I did not speak of my gender identity in any way. One time, a manager told new hires that I was trans (before I was out to anyone). Not only did he incorrectly tell employees I was a trans woman, but he also did it as a joke at my expense – pretending to “out” me, which was an invasion of privacy and a threat to my safety, especially as that place of employment was less accepting of the LGBTQ+ community. Due to instances like that, among others, I’ve been wary about being out in the workplace. I did not reveal anything about my gender or sexual identity at my current job until I had been here for a long time – until I had deemed it safe. But thankfully, the immediate outpouring of support and love I received at Charles River told me I had made the right choice.