My Top 5 Tips for Tackling Homophobia, Biphobia, Lesbophobia, and Transphobia in the Workplace

My top 5 tips for tackling homophobia, biphobia, lesbophobia, and transphobia in the workplace, focus primarily on language.

My name is Sarah “Sneff” Neff, and I use she/her and they/them pronouns. I am a Project Lead for Developmental and Reproductive Toxicology at Charles River Labs – Mattawan. I am also the lead of the Mattawan site’s chapter of Proud at Charles River, which is an LGBTQ+ Employee Resource Group.

Tip 1: Pay attention to gendered language you use and see if there is room to replace with ungendered or inclusive language. This may seem simple or even silly, but language can hold a lot of power. Language that makes assumptions makes it hard for LGBTQ+ people to gauge if they are safe to be open about their identity. When your language intentionally leaves room for multiple identities, this makes space for LGBTQ+ people to feel safe telling you about themselves.

·   ● When family comes up in conversation with colleagues, try to avoid using gendered terms such as “girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife” when unsure. This avoids assuming your colleague is heterosexual and leaves room for them to refer to their partner with the appropriate term. Even if you’ve seen photos of the partner, you still might not know the correct term for them.

o   Example: “Is your partner/spouse coming to the holiday party?”

·   ● When exchanging pleasantries with colleagues, try to use inclusive terms. Avoid terms such as “ladies and gentlemen” when unsure.

o   Examples: “Thanks everyone!”, “Hello friends!”

Tip 2: Encourage people to display the pronouns they use and offer them in conversation.

·   ● To display your pronouns, you can add them to your email signature, add them to a name placard at your desk/office, and add them to your work ID badge via sticker or “badge buddy.”

o   Email signature:

Sarah "Sneff" Neff, BS, LATG
Project Lead, DART | Charles River – MWN
Pronouns: she/her or they/them

o   Badge Buddy:

·   ● Offering your pronouns in conversation is a handy way to open the door for someone else to offer their pronouns without you specifically asking for them. This can be useful if you are uncomfortable asking directly or if you are in an interview situation where you legally cannot ask them to disclose.

o   Example: “Hello, my name is Sarah, and I use she/her and they/them pronouns.”

Tip 3: Encourage people to NEVER assume someone’s pronouns and to instead check for displayed pronouns and learn how to respectfully ask someone about their pronouns. A person’s appearance doesn’t automatically tell you what pronouns they use, even if they are wearing clothing or have secondary sex characteristics traditionally associated with a certain gender. Some folks who wear dresses and skirts do not use she/her pronouns. Some folks who have facial hair do not use he/him pronouns.

● As discussed in Tip 2, people might have their pronouns on display on their email signature, a name placard at their desk or workstation, or on their work ID badge. Keep an eye out for these displays, and periodically check the display in case anything has changed. Some people are fluid with which pronouns they use and change it up from week to week or even day to day. Some folks might be exploring their gender and try out a few different pronouns before finding what feels right.

● If you are comfortable doing so, you can ask someone what pronouns they use. I often offer my own pronouns while asking someone else for theirs to make it a reciprocal interaction and avoid seeming like I’m interrogating or singling them out. It’s a good idea to ask in a one-on-one conversation rather than in front of a group if you’re unsure of how the folks involved will react. This is also a good chance to make sure you’re referring to them with the name they like.

o   Example: “Hey, I just wanted to do a quick check-in with you to make sure I’m calling you the right things. What name and pronouns should I use for you?”

o   Example: “Hey, I don’t think we’ve met yet. I’m Sarah, but a lot of people call me Sneff. I use she/they pronouns. What name and pronouns do you use?”

·   ● One exception to asking for pronouns is if you are interviewing someone as a hiring manager. In that situation, you cannot legally ask them to disclose a protected status such as gender. As Tip 2 mentions, you can still offer your pronouns when you introduce yourself. Even if the interviewee doesn’t offer their pronouns in return, you have made space for them and shown them that this workplace is LGBTQ-friendly.

·   ● A lot of people in the LGBTQ+ community are moving away from the terminology “preferred pronouns” because the word “preferred” was creating the idea that pronouns were a soft preference that could be ignored rather than a hard requirement. Using food as analogy, my preferred ice cream is chocolate, but I will also eat vanilla. I won’t be offended or feel disrespected if someone offers me vanilla or mint ice cream instead of chocolate. In contrast, I am allergic to shellfish, so when it comes to meat, I only eat beef, pork, and poultry. It isn’t that I simply prefer them to shellfish, it is that eating shellfish is harmful to me. When it comes to pronouns, some folks might feel emotional distress when referred to by the wrong pronoun. Using the incorrect pronoun for someone could also reveal their status as a transgender person, which could put them in physical danger if this status is revealed to people who are aggressively anti-LGBTQ+. As the community shifts away from the word “preferred,” people are saying “what pronouns do you use” or “what are your pronouns” instead.

Tip 4: Call out homophobia, biphobia, lesbophobia, and transphobia when you see or hear it, even if LGBTQ+ folks are not present. Calling out bigotry in front of LGBTQ+ people is important and can show them that you support them and are not okay with others being disrespectful. Calling out bigotry when LGBTQ+ folks aren’t present is also powerful, though, because it shows the person being called out that you’re not doing it for any sort of reward or clout, you are doing it because what they are saying or doing is not okay. People have different tactics for calling others out based on their own comfort level and knowledge of the community, so don’t push yourself to use a tactic that makes you uncomfortable.

·   ● Tactic 1: For things that aren’t necessarily hateful but don’t take LGBTQ+ folks into consideration, calmly and respectfully pointing out the issue usually goes over well. For example, if you know someone who tends to start meetings by saying “Ladies and gentlemen,” then talking one-on-one with this person about how that can be exclusionary to nonbinary folks is a good way to point out the issue without accusing the person of intentionally being transphobic.

·   ● Tactic 2: Correct people when they use the wrong name or pronouns for someone! You don’t have to be aggressive about it, especially if it seems like the person made an honest mistake or simply doesn’t know. IMPORTANT: Only do this for people who are public with their name and pronouns, not for someone who disclosed to you in private and indicated that most people don’t know.

o   Example:
Person 1: Em said she was going to get supplies.
Person 2: Em actually uses they/them pronouns.
Person 1: Oh! I didn’t know. Thanks!

·   ● Tactic 3: Simply state that what the person said or did wasn’t funny, cool, or okay. If they tell a distasteful joke, say “that’s not funny.” If they say something homophobic, say “that’s not okay.” You can say more if you’d like, such as explaining why what they said is homophobic. This can be especially beneficial if the person genuinely didn’t realize that what they said was inconsiderate.

·   ● Tactic 4: If someone makes a distasteful joke, ask them why they think it’s funny. Some people will get the hint right away and drop it. Some will try to get you to be on their side and laugh anyway. Some folks will start to explain it, which can give you an opportunity to point out specific aspects of the joke that aren’t okay. On occasion, the person will get agitated and accuse you of being too uptight or sensitive. This tactic is NOT for everyone.

·   ● Tactic 5: If someone is particularly nasty or repeatedly says bigoted things at the workplace, talk to management and/or Human Resources. It is not tattling when someone is creating a hostile work environment and making others feel unsafe.

Tip 5: Ensure that workplaces are physically inclusive. This can include uniforms, bathrooms, locker rooms, and other similar things.

·   ● If a workplace has uniforms that differ based on sex/gender, see if there is a gender-neutral option. Make sure folks can choose the gendered uniform that is most comfortable for them.

    ● If a workplace has gendered bathrooms or locker rooms, see if at least some of them can be updated to be gender-neutral or if additional facilities can be built. Push for any single-stall bathrooms to be labelled as gender-neutral, unisex, or all gender.