“My Workplace Is Where I’ve Felt Most Accepted”: Charlotte Greenwood on Accepting Her Bisexuality

By Charlotte Greenwood, Content Specialist at Colt Technology Services

A little bit about myself. I am a communications professional and have been for almost five years. I work in the telecommunications industry, writing about connectivity, tech and the cloud. On a personal level, I am a bisexual woman, I came out officially when I was 15 after struggling with knowing I liked women for some time before that.

The first person I told, Clara* was someone I shouldn’t have come out to. I was 14 at the time, attending an all-girls school. I had known I had liked girls probably since the age of 10. That’s the earliest I can recall knowing that was who I was. Initially, I thought I was a lesbian, though this changed as got older and realised I like both men and women. But back to the story, I told a friend in confidence that I was struggling with these thoughts and feelings. They seemed to understand, but within a few days, all of our year group were talking about it. No one in our year group publicly identified as lesbian or bisexual yet, so it was met with a lot of hostility. I was picked on in the corridors, called slurs and nasty names. Being so ostracised for this, I double backed and said that the person was lying – that I was heterosexual. Anything to appear “normal”. It was a rough year, made more complicated that I developed feelings for a girl in my year, Faye* who I then later found out was a lesbian.

This all came to a head when I was 15 when I broke down and told my friend Amy* that I did like women and that I had feelings for Faye. She encouraged me to be honest, to speak with Faye and tell her how I feel. I struggled with this for a full month, before telling Faye that I liked her and we started a relationship. It was at this point I then told the rest of my friends, who were all supportive.

Coming out to my family was another matter. At the time, I had a very strained relationship with my dad and a really great relationship with my mum. I thought of the two, that my mum would be accepting and that my dad would probably disown me. The funny thing is, when I did come out to them and tell them I had a girlfriend, their reactions were the complete opposite. My dad told me that it was okay and that love is love whoever that might be and he cared for me regardless of who I was with. Our relationship is non-existent today but that is something I treasure always. My mum couldn’t accept it, she kept asking me why and later, would make jokes at my expense about my sexuality. This is something we still struggle with, as I am now in an opposite-sex relationship and she “jokes” that I’m straight now. I also have difficulties with a few friends who have said that because I don’t openly discuss how I find women attractive or objectify them, they think I’m straight.

My workplace is where I’ve felt most accepted. No one has batted an eyelid when I’ve spoken about past relationships, the most I’ve ever had is “oh, I didn’t realise you were bi” and we’ve moved on. Having an LGBTQ+ committee has been a safe haven to talk about experiences and educate myself more on what others go through.

In terms of what we need from allies, realise that words are important. When asking someone about their life, ask if they have a partner – not husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend. And for those who have friends who identify as bisexual, don’t think that because they’re not screaming it from the rooftops that it isn’t true. It chips away at our identity and makes us feel unseen by those closest to us. In the workplace, again be more mindful of your words. If you see or hear something that sounds wrong, check in on people and say something about it.

*All names in this are fake to protect people's identities