Parenting with Pride

For most people, becoming a parent is one of the most life-changing, challenging, rewarding experiences they will ever have but it can be a difficult journey to navigate for anyone. However, for LGBTIQ+ people there can be added pressures and unexpected barriers, both in society and in the workplace.

Therefore, it is vital any workplace policies that support and protect parents, also apply to LGBTIQ+ parents. Here at Japan Tobacco International (JTI) we have introduced many such policies including our Equal Family Leave and New Ways of Working (NWOW) Policy that includes Flexible Working Hours, 10 days Working from Abroad and 50/50 hybrid working.

Two of our LGBTQ+ parents who have experienced these polices first hand are David Pineiro, a Finance Process Expert based in Madrid who became a father to twins (a boy & a girl) via surrogacy, and Alejandro Valderrabano, Legal Director for the Mexico+ region who recently welcomed a baby boy, also via surrogacy. We spoke to them to hear their stories, learn about their challenges and understand how JTI’s policies have played a key role in supporting them on their parenting journey so far.

What are some of the unexpected challenges you’ve had as a parent?

Alejandro: People are curious and sometimes it comes across in a very natural and OK way, but sometimes it doesn’t. We’ve been congratulated by random people in restaurants. On the one hand you’re happy and feel supported, but would we have been congratulated if we were a ‘normal’ couple? It felt extraordinary when it should just feel ordinary.

David: It’s mainly the social aspects. We get a lot of unsolicited advice with people telling us what to do. Every time I talk about my kids I get asked about my wife. When I explain there is no wife people immediately want to know the DNA connection, who is biologically connected to whom etc.

What advice would you give to an LGBTQ+ first time parent?

Alejandro: It's a learning process for everyone no matter how you became a parent. Be ready for the unexpected and plan ahead but give yourself room to enjoy it.

David: Follow your heart and find your own way because lots of people will try to tell you how to do things.

What workplace policies are important to you as an LGBTQ+ parent?

David: We have policies with all kinds of flexibility: I combined holidays with working remotely so I could travel to the US for the twin’s arrival. Once back in the office having the 50/50 hybrid working has been perfect to help manage our time especially now they are in day-care.

Alejandro: JTI’s Global Family Leave Policy is amazing. We had 20 weeks off at the beginning when normally you get almost nothing here in the US. Now our son has started day-care they give my husband and I the flexibility to divide responsibilities.

Have you had any difficulties in the workplace as an LGBTQ+ parent?

David: As an LGBTQ+ parent you get more questions and need to provide private details about your life that other families don’t always have to.

Alejandro: It's been super inclusive from the very start, which is amazing. It's a testament to the work that the company has been doing that I feel comfortable and supported and that comes from the top.

What advice would you give to people in the workplace who want to be allies to LGBTQ+ parents in the organization?

David: The support of allies and other families helps create an environment where all types of families fit in. Here at JTI I have only very positive feedback because everyone has always been very supportive.

Alejandro: If you’re an ally, be overtly so. Make yourself available because it shows you support people going through their journey.

What is the biggest lesson you have learnt on your parenting journey?

Alejandro: Your life, focus and priorities change completely but it is totally worth it. You learn to become super-efficient with your time!

David: If your heart tells you something, go for it. Parenting is no different, there were so many barriers, but my heart always told me I wanted to be a dad and I could do it.