The Reality of Coming Out: Federico Casagrande's Story

Federico Casagrande, LATAM K&F Franchise Management & Marketing Sr. Manager at Warner Bros. Discovery, spoke to myGwork about his coming out story, and the incredible self-journey he has been on in the last 14 years. Telling a story about self-acceptance, the struggle it took to be happy with himself, and why he feels it is important to share his thoughts with others, Federico provides a unique and personal glimpse into his coming out experience.

My story about coming out of the closet is not so positive. Actually, it was a very difficult experience for me, but I believe that my story can help others to realize how important it is and let everybody know that sometimes we picture situations in a very different way than they could actually be. I wish I had heard a testimony like mine at that time. 

Coming from a conservative family and living in a small town in the province, I was always terrified of coming out and not being accepted. In my mind, I tried to convince myself that I wasn't gay, and I did everything possible not to be - in fact, I had many girlfriends in the past. Over time, I built a fictitious person who fit the reality that everyone else, including myself, expected. By making that huge effort, I over-adapted, dedicating too much energy to hiding who I am. Eventually, I forgot a little about who I was, I became a person who fits all the standards of others, and it became very difficult for me because I didn't come out of the closet by choice at the time, but through a psychiatric crisis. My body and mind couldn't take it anymore and I collapsed, ending up experiencing panic attacks, anxiety, sleeplessness, weight loss, and crying every day. After a two-year treatment, I was able to stabilize little by little. But it was a horrible situation, the worst years in my life. 

Now, why do I think my story can be helpful to the current generations? It's because, in my head, I had a horrible scenario of what coming out of the closet would be like, but the reality is that everyone who loves me, family, friends, and even colleagues at work, supported me 100% in my process. I even became closer to them because, for the first time, they started getting to know the real Federico. All the ghosts I had disappeared. Today, I think it would have been great to hear this testimony because not only did I live a lie for years, but I over-adapted, spending so much energy hiding my identity instead of putting it into other things. I prejudged people's reactions without giving them the opportunity to tell me what they thought or felt about it.  Coming out at the age of 28, I believe that at 42 I am still in the constant process of learning because it is not easy to let go of all the fears and prejudices that I built up during those 28 years. 

Deciding to be who I am opened the doors to feeling, sharing, genuinely loving, connecting with friends and family, putting my energy in the right places, and above all, discovering what happiness is. Obviously, life has its good and not so good moments, but I go through them being who I am, understanding myself, accepting myself, loving myself, and above all, trying every day to be super proud of who I am.